Welcome to Holland

I was talking to a friend the other day and she said something to me about admiring me for doing what I do, (being mom to a special needs child), and said she didn't know if she'd ever be able to handle it. I told her that you adapt and you learn. As a parent it does take a huge adjustment, and there are occasions, (like a brief period today), when it crashes down on you. You let yourself grieve, (yes, as angry as some people have been with me for putting it that way, that's what it is), pick yourself up, and get back to it. That's not to say there aren't many joys. There are. You learn to appreciate that there is no such thing as a little accomplishment, and you keep that child's eye view and appreciation longer. I know some of you have heard this from me before, but here is Welcome to Holland. I have yet to find anything that explains it better.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by

Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Contradictory

I combined a couple of the challenges sent out a while ago and came up with a list of 100 words to describe myself. I don't think there are any one or two characteristics that make me different from everyone else, but rather the combination of all of them. One thing that was reinforced was the fact that I am a whole bunch of contradictions, depending entirely on the situation and the company. I did a good part of the list myself, then asked for input from two good friends -a guy friend, and of course Jessica. (You know by now she always has something to say.) Some of the more creative words are hers, such as "shankist" and preemptive opportunist. She is also of the opinion that everyone is a little psychotic....

While you celebrate the 4th, a few things to think about..

I got this as an e-mail yesterday and thought it was worth sharing here. Sometimes its easy to get caught up in the cookouts and fireworks, but let's make sure we take the time to appreciate the sacrifices that were made that allow us to enjoy the freedoms that we do,

Happy Independence Day!!

Hello America,

Here it is, another Fourth of July. Traditionally, this is a day to gather with friends, maybe fire up the barbeque and play with kids until the sun sets and the fireworks start. But in thinking back on the meaning behind this day, we must never forget that our nation was baptized in the blaze of a very different kind of "fireworks." Yes, this is a day of rest and relaxation, as well it should be, but this year…I'd like to ask you a favor. At some point during the day, I hope you'll take time to think and reflect on what it is we're truly celebrating on the 4^th of July -- our Independence Day. Of course the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4^th, 1776 but it's so much more than that. On this day, 233 short years ago, a small group of men dedicated themselves to a higher purpose, an ideal they believed in so greatly, they signed their name to its expression and in doing so put their very lives at risk.

Never has a simple act of signing one's name carried such weight, such a profound commitment. By signing the Declaration of Independence, 56 men stood in direct defiance of the British government. They became marked men, and willingly so. As I was doing some research on the significance of July 4^th, I came across some interesting facts about these men. Today as we all enjoy the freedom our forefathers guaranteed us, join me in honoring the extraordinary sacrifice of 56 extraordinary Americans.

Of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence:

Five were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes burned to the ground. Two lost sons serving in the Revolutionary Army, and two more had sons captured. Nine fought and died in the Revolutionary War.

If you ever feel like your lone voice can never be heard, that the political system isn't set up for "regular" Americans to change the course of history, remember: The signers were flesh and blood, mortal men with a divinely-inspired aim.

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists, eleven were merchants, and nine were farmers and large plantation owners. They were well educated, smart enough to know that by signing the Declaration of Independence, they were signing their own death warrants. They did it anyway, and God bless them for it.

As we enjoy our liberty on this 4^th of July, or any day of any month, we must never take that liberty for granted. Too many have given too much. In the words of the Signers themselves, "For the support of this declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor."

Their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor -- I think that's a price paid worth a few minutes of reflection, don't you? But let's not be solemn in that reflection. I say rejoice and share this information with your friends and family, especially your kids. The Signers asked for nothing in return for their pledge, but I say that we show our thanks with a pledge of our own: To remember, to be grateful, and to carry on in their spirit. America is the greatest country this world has ever and will ever know, and it will stay that way so long as "we the people" remember that just like in 1776.

It's US that surrounds them, and we'll never back down.

Happy Independence Day, and God bless America.

Glenn Beck

Vanity...or not?

This picture was taken at the Museum of Science in Boston.

We took Michaela on New Year's Day. It was also the first trip for Mike and I since we were kids.

According to the sign, this picture is called "Vanity" by an unknown artist, but in doing a little

research about the picture for this challenge, I found something interesting. The picture that is called

"All is Vanity" is actually this one.

The picture at the museum is a picture called "L'Amour de Pierrot". It's a French postcard from the

19th century that shows Pierrot and Columbine. Pierrot is a clown who is on love with Columbine.

She leaves him for Harleqin, breaking his heart.

Either way, we had a great trip. We went early in the morning, so the crowds were coming in as we

were on our way out the door. It's great being so close to Boston. We need to take advantage of it

more often.

As You Wish

As You Wish

The bonus challenge for this week was "If you could have 3 wishes granted by a genie, what would they be?

I'm happy enough, but it's true, there are some things that I would wish for. Two were easy, but I had to think a little about the third. It was a toss between two things.

1. I wish Michaela could talk. My daughter is 12, and cannot talk. While I'm greatful that she can communicate as much as she can, it would be so wonderful to hear her say "mama" or "I love you." I know she would love it too. I know when I tell her, sometimes you can tell she's so frustrated that she can't say the words back. She grabs my head and squeezes as hard as she can and makes noise, I know she's trying. It would be so wonderful to see her succeed.

2. I'd love to be financially secure. It seems like things get harder every year. I'd love to have enough money to pay off our debts, (and those of my family and best friend), and to buy a nice house and still have a cushion left over. I'm not talking rich, but comfortable, so that losing a job wouldn't be catastrophic, and going back to school and being a SAHM would be possibilities.

3. I wish I could get back into a size 12 without having to do all of the hard work. I hate exercising, because I have to. It becomes a chore, like housework. I know this one sounds lazy, but it's been a battle all of my life and it's one I'd love to not have to fight anymore. I'd love to wake up tomorrow healthy and looking great.

The Soundtrack of My Life

I've always been a big music fan. I have a song for just about everything I think. I even recently had a discussion with someone about what music to play at my funeral. It's not as morbid as it sounds. We had been reading an artice, or seen a quiz, something like that, and it led to a discussion about our funeral songs. We both came to the conclusion that we would like our friends and family to pick songs that remind them about us for whatever reason. If that's the case, I'm going to have some pretty weird music at my funeral.

Songs about my life though. The list would change depending on the decade we're talking about. In the seventies when I was a kid, it would be a lot of what is now thought of as AM radio music. One constant through all the decades though, would be Elton John. I loved his music even as a kid. In the 70's one of my favorites was Crocodile Rock.

The 80s. Well, the 80s. I loved the 80s. I was a complete 80s teenager. If I had to make the soundtrack of my life in the eighties, it would consist of Duran Duran, The Cars, Bon Jovi and any angsty music you can think of.

I sat down today and came up with a list of songs that describe my life now. If I tried to cover everything, there'd probably be 50 songs on the list. As it is now I came up with 13, and I probably could have kept going.

I think for the most part they're self explanatory, but if any of you have questions about why I picked a song, just ask. I was going to put down the reasons or the important lines, but it would just be too long.

So here's a little glimpse of me. Enjoy.

I am a Banana Split

You Are a Banana Split

Fruity, flavorful, and diverse. Who can beat a true superstar?

What Kind of Sundae Are You?

I took this quiz for the challenge at SB.com. Then I had to wonder, why am I a banana split??

I've been called fruity, (Fruitcake I think was the actual word), sweet, and a monkey, but I don't think that's what we're shooting for here. 

The idea that kept going through my mind was that a banana split is made up of so many different items that a person might not at first think would fit together.  

There are a lot of aspects of me that at first appear contradictory, but they all fit together to make me who I am. For example, I'm a quiet person, but certain friends would laugh at the very idea. I love shoes. If I could afford it I'd have a closet full of fun, sexy shoes, but I go barefoot 99% of the time. I love tomatoes, but hate ketchup and tomato soup. The list goes on & on. 

Then I decided I needed another take on the whole banana split thing, so, I asked my best friend, Jessica.

Here is her answer. 

"Because you have so many aspects of you that, on their own, are delicious and filling, but the core is a healthy, organic being which only God and nature could have ever produced. Combined, you're the perfect comfort food for the souls of your deepest friends and loved ones."

I told you she's a creative thinker...